POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

Everyone knows I am nothing if not politically correct. Example; We say Jackie is Asian-American instead of [insert racial slur here] or that we say Bill is Canadian instead of [insert slur here] . See how much fun being correct with your political correctness can be!!!
Here are some other helpful hints to help you stay politically correct with the opposite sex. I am sure a couple of you fit into one or more of these:


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE"
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED
COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have a "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY
ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED"
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE”

Crazy insane..& ..that thing is gi-normous

With Melissa headed out of town for the weekend, I headed for Hughes Stadium at Sonny Lubick Field or is it Sonny Lubick Field at Hughes Stadium?
You can't go to a football game without tailgating and this trip was no exception. Armed with the keys to the GMC, a cooler of PBR, KEYSTONE LIGHT & 16 oz BUD LIGHT CANS, we were on our way. It has been a while but I was told you have to shotgun a beer to start off tailgating. Well I thought who am I to not succumb to peer pressure. Nothing like shotgunning a PBR. I think it could be the only beer that actually tastes like warm beer, even chilled to almost freezing. After the last minute loss we hit the OLE CASA to BBQ, then on to OLD TOWN for jello shots and gyros. Tim stopped by the CASA for a second but had a nasty case of sandy vigina. Bill couldn't do anything crazy insane and everyone knows I go crazy insane or go home.

Sitting on the student side, like the good old days

Has Erins head always been this big?
Shane looks about normal
It was a goodtime had by all........except those scared by Erins huge head.

Fort Collins was rated #9 in the nation as the best place to by a house. I must be a genius! (since we bought a house....in Fort Collins)